Done.

Its May 19th at 10:07 a.m. I have exactly 53 minutes until I am allowed to turn in my last assignment ever. Weird.

Yesterday was my last exam ever… and I went out how I came in. I’m glad after four years nothing has changed and I still spend 45 minutes bs-ing my Art History final. Lovely.

And, instead of working on my final paper for my Irish class I went to a friend’s house and got up early this morning to do it… again, after four years I am still the biggest procrastinator ever, but with more than an hour to spare I finished my paper. It just proves that I’d rather lose sleep than miss out on something… and that I am pretty good at getting up in the morning and getting stuff done when its got to get done… pat on the back for me.

But still, its so weird that my homework is done… forever… unless I decide to go to grad school or something, but that wont be right away… My career at the University of Massachusetts is over, as long as I don’t get hit by a bus when I walk to turn in my paper and I pass all of my classes (which I should).

Crazy. The end of an era, but the start of a brand new adventure… I’m ready.

I think too much…

When I’m alone I get bored, when I get bored I think… when I think I get emotional. Emotional about the end of things, mainly college, and what is going to happen after I leave Amherst? Will I still be friends with the same people I am now (hopefully, because if I’m not I don’t think I could handle it)?

I overanalyze everything, and well, sometimes that screws me over… or just puts me in a bad moo – and I’m usually a pretty cheerful person, but I guess lately I’ve just been in a funk… and I need to get out of it I just don’t know how – well I know one way, but that way just wont happen.

And that’s why I have this blog… to ramble about everything that I need to say I just don’t know how to say it… I have so many questions for a few specific people, but I don’t know if I can ask them… or how.

Boston, here I come?

I’ve decided that instead of moving home for the summer I’m going to just move to Boston. I don’t have a job, but I don’t have a job if I move home either… and this way I wont move home and never leave again, because I know that would happen.

Now that I’ve decided to stay East post-graduation I’ve got to find a job (I’ll take anything that pays) and a place to live… Good thing Mama T approved all of this and said she’d help me out at the start… I’m glad I wont be completly cut off when I graduate, she just said that I have to get a paying job becasue she’s not going to fund my living and boozing for another four years – she knows me all too well.

Scary to think that Minnesota really wont be my home anymore… that is if everything works out according to my current ideal plan – chances are it’ll change in the next couple of days.

Thinking about the future is so scary… but I’m getting kind of excited to graduate. Whoa, I can’t believe I actually admitted that. Granted, I’ve been “over” school for awhile now, but the freedom and lifestyle is something I’m not quite ready to give up… I’ll be a person who “stays young” forever.

Here’s to the biggest adventure of all… another new place all by myself woo.

Golf is truely amazing

There was a commercial on during the Masters for a cell phone company… the guy sends text messages about three putting through Ireland and spending the day on the beach, then ends with the guy making a long putt and sending a text message that says “Who am I kidding, I love golf.”

That’s why its such an amazing game…

I played for the first time this week, 9 holes on Tuesday and 14 holes on Friday. My first rounds of the season and lets just say they were less than mediocre. They sucked… I played VERY poorly and was very upset.

But that commercial describes the game perfectly. There is no game that is that mental… My first hole of the year I played horrible. I chipped over the green nearly four times but then the next hole I got to the tee box and had a beautiful drive, I ended up bogeying the hole… missing a two foot putt for par (ugh), but that drive… that shot, it made up for the horrible hole that I had just played. One shot can change that mentality, give you hope for the round changing and going in your favor.. even if its just for a second. Just being on the golf course, it makes me happy. It used to not, I would never want to play probably because my dad always tried to teach me, and it made me mad. Now I just wish I would have taken his lessons and been as good as I could have been… oh well maybe this summer. Played golf this week, played soccer today and will tomorrow and watched the Bruins tonight… all I need to do is play some hockey and I’ll get my sport fix in.

The Infamous Snuggie

My grandparents bought my sister and I snuggies for Christmas, but we didn’t receive them until we came home from our respective college for spring break.

Originally, we thought it was absolutely hilarious that we got snuggies because we had been mocking the commercials for months. Look at all you can do now that your hands aren’t under a blanket… seriously?

Still I think the marketing gimmicks are hilarious and dumb, but they worked for my grandparents to buy them and well… its a great idea, as much as I hate to admit it.

The snuggie is actually amazing, and there is so much you can do without letting your arms get cold – yes I could put on a sweatshirt, or wear a bathrobe because a snuggie is practically a backwards robe without the string… But seriously, the snuggie is ideal.

But watch out… it says that you can do things you couldn’t do while wearing a normal blanket… be careful before you try certain tasks. I was attempting to walk down my stairs wearing my snuggie and holding my laptop when my dog came and walked on my snuggie, on the steps, and I didn’t notice, I tried to walk and nearly tumbled down the stairs and would have ruined my laptop and seriously injured myself. Wearing a blanket and walking down the stairs with my computer is something I never would have attempted with a regular old blanket… so unlike me, use your common sense while wearing your snuggie – don’t walk down the stairs with it on.

But overall, I suggest the snuggie. It’s amazing.

Struggling to write

For my memoirs class we have to write a 15ish page memoir and due tomorrow is two rough pages of our memoir… the only thing is I know what I’m writing it on, I just have no idea how to put it together.

How do I put 17 years of my life with a person that has had an impact on my entire family, and even now four years after Mimi’s death she still impacts our daily lives, into 15 pages? Clearly it doesn’t have to be the entire memoir, but how do I chose which stories? How to a form it together? How do I write about something that I’ve never really wrote about before, or even talked about for that matter.

Its hard enough that even after four and a half years I cry when I think about having to talk about her, let alone having people read how much she has shaped my life, my families life and the town that I’m from. How can I portray it so other people understand how significant of a person she is, and how can I write this memoir in a way that would make people actually care and want to read it?

I suppose those are the daily questions of writers… I just wish they had an easy answer, especially when its 1 a.m. and I have other homework to get done…

Storms…

Today was the first thunderstorm of spring, and for me, that’s one of the worst things that could happen. The storm just made my day a little more… not what I wanted it to be.

First off, I was anything but productive. Granted, I did do a lot of things. I wrote a wrap on the men’s lacrosse game from Saturday afternoon, I organized my room, did a fantasy baseball draft (poorly for that matter), I went to three different meetings and picked up the book that I have to read. But I didn’t start the book that’s due on Tuesday, nor write my senior summary that is due Wednesday and tomorrow I wont have much time.

I think me being a journalism major has taught me to procrastinate more by leaving everything right until deadline. Maybe its because I don’t want to give the weekend up, Sunday nights are always rough knowing it’s going to be five more days until you don’t have to worry about school. But I can’t complain about that seeing that in two months I wont have to worry about school ever again. Scary.

Then there are the little things that happened throughout the day that I don’t know how to quite explain except for thinking about the Jack Johnson song, “Sitting, Waiting, Wishing.”

I need to start focusing on the things I’ve got to get done this week, but its the little things that are stressing me out and turning my focus off the things I’ve got to get done.

Hopefully tomorrow will be more productive and there wont be any thunderstorms to distract me anymore.